I have a true fear of heights. I’m talking about literally shaking, sweating, ext. I suck it up, but it’s pretty embarrassing when I start to have a panick attack. I almost start to hyperventilate but, I eventually calm down. I envy all the others around me, as they walk up and down stairs with no fear. I get told, “just hang on to the rail, just dont look down, it’s ok” bla bla. But it’s something I can’t control. Trust me! I don’t like to feel this way, but unfortunately I do. Reflecting back on my younger years, I don’t remember this fear being there. Whenever we went to the beach, I always wanted to have the highest room possible. From what I remember, being up high was exhilerating. I was also a roller coaster junkie, and believe or not, I still am. So what is it about stairs?
Even though I now have this crazy fear of heights and climbing stairs, I don’t let it stop me from family fun and adventures. Like having high seats at a monster truck show, hiking a mountain with my love, going to museums with multiple floors so we have those darned stairs, and staying on the 5th floor of a beach hotel and enjoying the balcony view. You would think I would eventually be used to it, but the same pannick attack comes back everytime. I just push through it, take a deep breath and suck it up. The feeling never goes completely away, but it gets a little easier throughout that particular trip. I pray real hard and rely and God to help me through. He always follow through, so I trust him.
Don’t ever let your fear stop you from your dreams, your goals, or just plain being able to do what you want to do. I wrote this song a couple of years ago after one of our family adventures. I almost had a pannick attack going up 2 flights of stairs. I know, lame. There was multiple field trips at the place we were at, so kids were running up and down the stairs past me. You get the picture. Well, after that particular event, the song idea popped into my head. Even though I about had a pannick attack and embarrassed my family, we still had a great, fun, family vacation. The mural is…. fear is just a feeling…. don’t give into it. It will never go away, but hey, neither does my back pain and I still get up and walk everyday!