Depression, a topic that likes to get shoved into the farthest corner in the room. Something know one wants to discuss. Maybe they are embarrassed, it makes them feel weak. For others it makes them feel uncomfortable to hear others talk about how they are feeling. I don’t like to talk about my depression time, but here it goes. Maybe if I speak out, others will to. Maybe sharing how I dealt and coped, will help others as well.
A little over a year ago, I totally lost myself. I was having a hard time trying to figure out who I was again. I started to feel overwhelmed, trapped, and also lost. As I have written in my other posts, it’s strange to me to look back on some of my previous writings, quotes, and even Facebook memes. I remember exactly how I was feeling the times that I wrote or posted them. I ended up gaining weight, which stressed me out even more. I felt everyone always had something to say about me behind my back, even though they probably never said anything at all. I didn’t talk about how I felt much, only to my husband every now and then. I started drinking more than normal and I would stay up late, just to be alone and feel sorry for myself, trying to figure it all out. It was all so overwhelming, and I truly felt I had know one to turn to. So I turned to God. I made sure I was praying every single day. I set aside specific alone time, to share my worries and struggles with God. I would pray for help, pray for peace, pray for strength, and prayed for his coverage to protect me in the fight. I relied on God, and I still do. Even though I was still having good times and bad times, I felt myself feeling better and more like me everyday. I will still have rough days now and again, as the devil tries to keep treading his way back into my mind. But, I still turn to God and I hear him tell me “Don’t dwell on yesterday or tomorrow. Just focus on today and take one step at a time.”
Everyone will or has gone through a depressive states. Everyone’s experience is different. There is no rhyme or reason as to why, but it happens. Some turn to doctors for medicine or psychiatrist for someone to talk to. But for me, I turned to God. I feel thankful for that time, because I feel it has made me closer to him. Regardless of your situation, talk to someone! Don’t battle alone. Heck, if you don’t have anyone to talk to, shoot me an email. I will be glad to listen. I will be your support system. Depression is already a rough thing to go through, it’s even harder when you’re alone with no one to talk to