Care Enough to Try

I remember this day very well. I was having a totally off day and this was during a time when I wasn’t in the best place. This was during a time where I felt worthless and that I wasn’t good enough. This was during a time where nothing I did or say ever seemed right. So having the day I was having then, did not help.

At the time I took this picture my heart was hurting. We were at the library for an Easter party and Easter egg hunt. She had been looking forward to this event, plus it was our last one because she was starting school the following fall. We had been to every one since she was a baby.

Well, we showed up at the VERY end. She cried the whole way there thinking we were going to miss it, and to be honest so did I. I remember the whole way there I kept telling her “Mommy’s trying her best baby, I’m trying to get us there”, and I was.

Us being so late wasn’t because of negligence of time, it was circumstantial.

You see, I had to come back home after taking my son to school to get the horses fed. Upon arrival, one of my horses (whom I won’t call by name) was out of the pasture. After fighting with her to get her back in, the sole of my boot literally just fell off. It was one thing after another. Then before I knew it, it was 10:30, the party started at 10:30. I live 30 minutes away from the library. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach. I WAS DEVASTATED!

So, we rushed to the library and made it to the end of the party. We missed the egg hunt, but luckily the librarians knew we wouldn’t miss this event, gathered some eggs and put them aside for her. We sat there in the library floor while she ate her snacks and went thru her eggs. She turned to look at everyone else when I snapped this picture. I snapped this picture with the feeling of complete failure and defeat in my heart. Even though we still made it, even though it was not my fault as to why we were late, my heart wouldn’t let me feel otherwise.

After the library I took her to McDonalds to make up for all the hurt and emotional distress we had, then we went to the duck pond and walked and played. And you know what? We both got over it. Her much quicker than me. Heck, I teared up writing this because I remember how my heart felt.

As a parent we try so hard for our kids. But sometimes we fall short. And that’s ok. Does it hurt, heck yes, but we will move on. We either learn a lesson, have a story to tell, or both.

But the one thing I know I’ve learned is, the fact that I tried! I could have just threw in the towel and said “sorry kid, we are just not going to make it.” Let her cry it out a minute, bribe her with some candy or whatever. But no, I took my chances on making it before it ended and we did.

You have to give it all you’ve got! The fact that you care! That’s what makes you an awesome parent. So don’t let guilt over something beyond your control make you feel like you’re not good enough. You keep being an awesome parent. Your kids will always remember the fact that my mom cared enough to try.

Published by

Mandy Vinson

I am Mandy Vinson and I am a singer/songwriter, author, blogger, and on occasion and dabble into poetry. I am a wife, a mother of two children and a child of God. My hobbies include playing games with my kids and spending time with my family, being outdoors, writing, playing guitar, and singing.

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