This morning, I was sitting on my back porch swing. It’s overcast, breezy, low temp (for me anyway), and sipping my coffee. It was felt amazing.
As I’m sitting there, enjoying the moment, I am reminded of a time when the weather was like this a couple of years ago. I remember my husband and I were binge watching The Walking Dead while I was also catching up on some reading. We were both still in our P.J.’s and didn’t plan on moving from that spot for the day.
But, unfortunately for me, I was going to have to leave for a few hours. My daughter had an invitation to a friend’s birthday party, and even though I had said I would take her I completely dreaded it. I wasn’t going to know anyone there and I wasn’t looking forward to that awkwardness. But, my daughter was excited and I wasn’t going to disappoint her or let her down.
So, off we went to the birthday party. Of course it was at her friend’s home, not at some random location like the skating rink or Chucky Cheese where I could just blend into the environment and dodge the small talk. We knocked on the door and slowly opened it into the home and all eyes turned to us. I introduced my daughter and explained that she was a friend. We were welcomed of course and everyone was polite.
My daughter played, we sang happy birthday and ate cake. I sat there awkwardly in their living room amongst everyone else who knew each other, family, longtime friends, you name it.
I was finally able to convince my daughter to leave after a couple of hours. We said our goodbyes and I breathed a sigh of relief once I got back into my truck.
As soon as we got back home, the clingy regular clothes came off and the comfy clothes came back on. My husband asked how the party was so I explained how awkward it was. As I was telling him about everything it hit me, I never once introduced MYSELF. I walked into this other families home and sat in their living room and they didn’t even know my name. I was so embarrassed as I was rethinking everything.
I get so nervous about situations that I sometimes don’t think clearly. Though I am an outgoing and fun person, I am also extremely shy around people I don’t know making me an introvert in a lot of situations until I open up.
As I sat there reflecting on that memory, I chuckled to myself. I laughed at the fact I was the weirdo at a kids birthday party and at the fact I got mad at myself for being that said weirdo. In all reality though, that’s just who I am. I can’t just up and change myself, I can only love my little weird self and get on with life. If someone doesn’t like me before they really get to know me then they can miss out on the cool me and go kick rocks.
Moral to the story, don’t beat yourself up over your quirks. You’ll end up laughing about it later. It’s what makes you who you are. Love yourself no matter what, and don’t hide your weirdo side.
My daughter said these glasses look FABULOUS on me!