God Doesn’t

The devil wants you to feel overwhelmed

The devil wants you to feel stressed

The devil wants you to feel doubtful

The devil wants you to feel insecure

The devil wants you to worry

The devil wants you to be angry

The devil wants you to be envious

The devil wants you to feel unworthy or incapable

The devil wants you to not like yourself

The devil wants you to feel unloved

God doesn’t!

Got wants you to give it all to him and rest

God wants you to be at peace

God wants you to feel loved, to be content, and to trust in him

If you are feeling any of the above, take a deep breath and give it to God.

The enemy will try to sneak in to steal your joy, but rest easy knowing that God is in your corner.

Some Days

Some days, I feel like the worst mom in the world.

Some days, I feel like I don’t do enough for my kids.

Some days, I beat myself up. Do I read enough books to them, do I play enough with them, do we spend enough one on one time together, do I listen enough when they are talking to me.

Some days, I feel guilty because  I just want to be left alone.

Some days, I let them over indulge in their devices with screen time because it makes my afternoon a little easier.

Some days, we don’t all sit down to dinner at the same time.

Some days, I let the not the best times outweigh the good.

Some days, I don’t give myself enough credit for how awesome of a mom I am.

Some days, I forget it’s ok to slack and give yourself a break.

Then, when I tuck my little ones down at night, and they wrap their arms around me and tell me how much they love me, I am reminded that I am exactly what they need.

For the Love of Gummy Bears

(Disclaimer: I wrote this piece February of 2020. I was hoping it would get published elsewhere, but it didn’t. So I decided to publish it myself. And yes, this is a true story. Enjoy.)

A little funny story….. with a moral too…yay.

 I am a sucker for a gummy type candy at times. Twizzlers, jelly beans, starburst, and especially, gummy bears. Being I am not a big candy eater, I don’t buy myself candy. I totally rely on the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Halloween time….you get the picture. My husband even knows the way to my heart. Don’t you dare bring home flowers, gummy bears and a 6 pack will do just fine.

Well, over my son’s 9th birthday I got sick. Not a great time either.  Not only was it my baby boy’s birthday so we had his party and all that fun stuff planned, But my parents and grandparents made a 6 hour drive to surprise him and to attend his party.

My parents ended up bringing me a big ole bag of gummy bears to cheer me up. The bag was resalable so I kept them on my night stand so I could have a little snack here and there at night while I was watching TV, etc.

Well, one night, weeks after the devil bears were bought, I crawled into my warm cozy bed, took a sip of my water, rolled over and closed my eyes. I was just about to doze off into dream world when I felt an empty spot in my tummy. That spot was just about the right size for a red gummy bear. I’m not going to lie, I got a little excited and rolled over to grab one little deliciousness before going  to sleep.

There’s one problem, the bed decided to play a trick on me and slide about 2 inches to the right because it was no longer where I thought it should be. As I am flying mid air across my bedroom, I reached out to grab something, anything, to stop my fall. Well, apparently a glass of water, a lamp, and gummy bears don’t help, they just tend to fly across the room. And the night stand, well it’s just downright hateful because it punched me in the face and made sure I hit the floor…..hard.

All of my excitement startled my husband awake. He jumped out of bed to rush to my aide confused about what happened and why I was on the floor. I was sprawled out on the floor holding my face which was screaming in pain. I looked at him with sad little puppy eyes and said “I just wanted a gummy bear”. His response was what you would have expected. He was in disbelief but amused by the whole situation at the same time. I slowly pull my banged up self back on to the bed, and yes I got my darn gummy bear and sat there with my feelings hurt for a moment while my husband grabbed an icepack from the freezer.

As he crawled back into the bed he chuckled as he looked at me holding the icepack to my already swollen cheek. I glared at him and told him jokingly that if he didn’t behave  I was going to tell people that he hit me. He laughed even harder and said, “Yea, because any story you tell will be more believable than the fact that a grown woman threw herself off the bed for a gummy bear.”

Moral to the story, Gummy bears are not your friend, and neither is the night stand.

(don’t fall for that cute face!)

I am Blessed

When I woke up this morning, I took a sip of my coffee, then I immediately became overwhelmed with the thought of all the things I had to do today, like any other day.

I had 3 loads of laundry to do, dishes, clean the house up from my two tornadoes, the porch needed to be cleaned up, take care of the animals, balance the checkbook, update my website, complete some writings I haven’t had time to finish and oh yea, did I mention laundry.

While I was making the kids breakfast, I was slapped in the face again with another task for the day. GROCERY SHOPPING!

I took a deep breath and smiled. I was reminded that I should be thankful for my overwhelming busy day.

I am blessed to have a house to clean.

I am blessed to have a family to go get groceries for.

I am blessed we have clothes to wash.

I am blessed to have a vehicle to drive.

I am blessed we are able to pay our bills.

I am blessed that I have animals to feed that others only dream of having.

All of these daunting tasks and todos we always take for granted.

I hate doing the laundry. I feel like the more I clean, the more I have to clean (if you get what I’m saying). It’s extrememly cold out and I don’t want to feed. I hate spending the money and time to grocery shop only to come home and realize I forgot something (I know that doesn’t seem much like a hassel, but I live 30 minutes from the store). I only have so much time to get everything done during the day before getting the kids from school. It’s just overwhelming at times.

But, when I saw it in the perspective of, “atleast I have a house to clean”, I was made extremely more grateful to be blessed with all that I have and my busy todo list.

With that being said, I will leave you with a lyric I wrote a little over a year ago called “Blessed” ❤

No One Notices

No one notices the house stays clean.

No one notices that the laundry is always washed, dried, and put away.

No one notices that their favorite snacks and drinks are always there when they open up the fridge or pantry.

No one notices that somehow Christmas and Birthdays just always seem to workout somehow or some way.

No one notices that even though you are the last to sit down with your dinner plate, you are still the first one finished so you can clean up the kitchen and pack lunches for the following day.

It always feels like everything you do just goes unnoticed. No one seems to care about all the struggles you go through and emotions you go through to make sure everyone is taken care of. No one seems to notice all of the times you feel inadequate or not good enough. No one notices how much you beat yourself up because you feel you could have done more. No one notices how guilty you feel when you see the “perfect” parent on T.V. and start comparing yourself.

But the truth is, someone does notice. It may not be the family you care and work so hard for,  but God notices and he is extremely proud. He is proud of how hard you work to care for the family he gave you. He is proud of how strong you are and how fearless you are. He is proud of how even though you don’t get the credit or recognition, you still show up every day and give it your all to make sure everyone is taken care of. He is proud of how you put everyone else in front of yourself.

Don’t beat yourself up or quit because you feel that no one cares or no one notices. The only one you should be impressing is our heavenly Father and I promise, he notices, he sees you, and he is proud of you.

Oreo’s for Breakfast

I woke up, yawned, and stretched and slowly made my way out of bed. It is a Saturday morning so we laid around, drinking our coffee, trying to wake up. Even though it’s a Saturday, that doesn’t stop our internal clock from waking us up before 7 because that’s what we are used to doing during the week.

After about an hour, once the kids got up, I asked what they would like for breakfast. My son responds, “The Oreo’s in the cabinet.” My response was “Sure”.

I know that’s not  a healthy, well balanced breakfast. But, we do healthy all week long. I cook and make breakfast, fix their lunches for school, and make healthy dinners. So who cares on a Saturday morning if Oreo’s is our power fuel for the day. After all, don’t they make cookie cereal?

Wonderfully and Uniquely Made

Children are not born racist. Racism is taught. Children are not born seeing differences in skin color, it is something that is taught as they grow older.

While at Walmart, I told my children they could pick out a toy to purchase with some money they have been saving up.

My daughter walked carefully up and down the isle, searching for the perfect toy. When her eyes came across this pack of dolls, they lit up. She snatched the package off the shelf excitedly and told me this was what she wanted.

She gazed at each little doll admiring their different types of outfits. Her favorite was the mermaid. Once we got home, we barely made it through the door before she was ready to open and play with them.

It doesn’t matter to her what color their skin is, she doesn’t care. She doesn’t care that they are not “white” dolls. She doesn’t care that they don’t “look” like her. She isn’t taught to care about those type of things. She loves them exactly the way they are.

I could have told asked her “why don’t you pick the little blonde girls”, or said something about getting the ones that look more like her. But I didn’t, I let her get exactly what she wanted.

I am afraid it is too late to end racism in our generation or time. There are alot of us that don’t understand why there is so much hate, but then there are others who are set in their ways and will never change. Like the saying goes, you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

But how do we make a better future for our children? Stop teaching them about race. Stop teaching them to see color and start teaching them to see people. There are multiple shades of color between white and black. God made us all different for a reason and that reason wasn’t to hate each other for those differences. We are called to love one another.

So, let’s stop teaching our children to see color and start teaching them to see people, all people, who are wonderfully and uniquely made.

The Little Things Matter Most

My husband had to leave for work at 5:30 this morning. I normally like to be up at 5:30 or a little after to give myself some time to get woke up and do my bible study before I wake the kids up.

He came into the room to kiss me good bye before he left. I wasn’t quite ready to open my eyes yet, so I rolled back over after he walked out for the “5 more minutes”.

Finally I decided I needed to get up and make myself a cup of coffee. I sat up, stretched, and started to get out of bed when I saw this.

He normally always makes me a cup of coffee in the morning. But I wasn’t expecting it this morning being he had to leave so early.

My heart melted and that moment made my entire day. It’s the little things like this that mean more than anything to me. It’s the fact that even though he had to leave extremely early, he still thought of me.

That right there beats a million dollars in my book, the little things.

We tend to overlook these small things at times because we are too overwhelmed with the big things. Working, cleaning, paying bills, etc consume our minds that we just let the little things fall into the cracks.

But in reality, when we focus on the little things, life is just so much better and happier.

Parenting is Hard

Being a parent is hard.

Today, I had to tuck back my emotions and send my 6 year old to school even though she was nervous and in tears. Literal crocodile tears.

On Friday, her best friend at school decided she wanted to play with the new girl instead. My daughter tried to play with both of them, but her friend was mean to her. When I picked her up from school she was upset and her feelings were hurt.

We talked about it, I told her Monday would be a brand new day. Maybe her friend would have a change of heart. If not, that wasn’t the type of friend she wanted or needed.

Over the weekend, she said herself, maybe Monday she will be nice and let me play with them.

Monday rolls around, and she woke up in tears. Nervous and afraid of what the day had in store for her. I almost let her stay home. But, what was I teaching her?

As I watched her get out of the vehicle with tears rolling down her face I felt so guilty, but also proud of her. She could have pitched a fit and refused to get out of the vehicle. She could have screamed and hollered.

But instead, she took a deep breath, got out of the vehicle and walked inside ready to face the unknown.

I hated sending her to school like that. But if I let her stay home, what was I teaching her? That she could cry and get out of going to school. To never face her fears.

I pray when I pick her up today, that she’s going to tell me how great her day was. I pray her friend will be nice to her.

Today’s parenting decision was hard, but sometimes in life you have to do things you don’t want to do. For instance, today I have to go to the eye doctor and I really don’t want to go.

Parenting is hard. Hang in there parents. I wish I could tell you it gets easier, but yea.